During one of our village visits, we went to a church service. Some of us shared, but the rest of us just sat and listened during the service. Afterwards, a lot of the church goers approached us, asking us to pray over them. There was a wide variety of prayer requests, but the Lord really began to touch my heart when one lady came and asked us to pray because she hadn’t been able to have children for 7 years. The next prayer was over a woman’s young child. Many mothers began to bring their children, and soon, there was a whole group of kids and the mothers were asking us to pray over all of them. We began to pray that the Lord would touch their hearts, that they would be trained up in righteousness, + that they would bring revival to India. I so strongly felt the power of prayer + the Lord’s presence. I felt the Lord saying that THESE are the kingdom of God. The Lord was working in these mothers + their children for the good of His kingdom. These kids were the next generation of believers. They are the ones who the Lord is going to bring revival through. It was such an honor to be able to pray over these children + their futures + that they would impact the future of India.
From my journal:
Today we went to a school! I was in a group of about 30-40 kids from ages 5-11. None of the kids spoke English + neither did the teachers, so it started off as a bit of a challenge! One of my teammates was with me at first, but she had to go help with a different class. I was so intimidated + felt underprepared, especially at the beginning. I couldn’t communicate with the teachers or the students, and they were expecting me to entertain or teach them. I prayed “Jesus, help me” over + over throughout the day. I roughly explained Simon Says + Hangman, which we played. Thankfully, our host then came in who knew enough English + some of their language to help roughly translate. I was able to share some things with them, + hear more about them + their culture! We played some competitive games which the kids got very into, + I ended up enjoying my time with them. Honestly, I was very overwhelmed by today + felt very alone + underprepared. I still don’t feel great about all that I did. Especially after the rest of my teammates had such glowing reviews of their classes, where they had a translator or the kids spoke some English. I feel a need to perform + really felt discouraged by the expectations I set on myself + comparison. But, I really did enjoy today + I’m surrendering my self-imposed expectations + my success or failure mindset. Thank you Lord that there is nothing I need to do to earn or accomplish your love, acceptance, or approval. Thank you for the freedom that is in Your love. Thank you for meeting me in that school + that your power is made perfect in my weakness.
The Lord did so much in my heart during India! I feel like the Lord broke me down in so many ways with the continual question, “am I enough for you?” Although God has walked me through my identity in Him so many times, I feel like each time it’s to a deeper level + understanding. The Lord has continued to show me so many things I’m putting my identity in, even subconsciously. He has been so faithful to walk me through shifting that to having a full + complete identity in Him + Him alone. The Lord has given me so much freedom. Thank you Jesus!
I think I had some expectations of what ministry would look like in India. I kinda figured that it was going to be super heavy on evangelism + that it would be super crazy busy + insane stories of how the Lord moved left + right. Although the Lord did move while we were in India, the Lord really used our time there to work on me + my heart. India was a big month of surrender for me. There were multiple times that I felt so completely broken that the only way I could be whole again was to lean on the Lord. Because I was no longer able to build myself up in my own strength, I had no choice but to lean on the Lord. “Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.” (proverbs 3:5+6) I don’t think I understood the depths of this verse until I really couldn’t lean on my own understanding. At home, it was really easy to say that verse, but to still lean on my own strength because I could. When I had no capability to lean on my own strength anymore, the Lord showed me such a beautiful depth of surrender + dependence on Him. The cool thing is that surrendering to the Lord + depending on Him isn’t oppression, it’s actually FREEDOM. There is FREEDOM in letting go of your circumstances + leaning on the Lord. The Lord is faithful + He WILL sustain you. “Cast your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you.” (psalm 55:22) “For I, the Lord your God, hold your right hand; it is I who say to you, ‘Fear not, I am the one who helps you.’” (Isaiah 41:13)
Thank you Jesus!
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